i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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