Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
