Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I want to fling myself into the sun
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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