White coat. Heels.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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