dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize