fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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