There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
