I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
