If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
3 2 1 whiskey
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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