It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
