You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just had sex on a roof
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
