i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
