party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
