No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
