Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
