I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
