I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize