Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize