I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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