Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
