Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
