she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I need to calm my uterus...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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