Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
