I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i dont even know how to be here
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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