dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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