Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
