My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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