the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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