So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
