All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
