I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
