drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
