Will you blow on my dice?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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