I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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