dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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