I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
