If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Found the puke drawer
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
