today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
