His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
