How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
