He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
