he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
