this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's shark week go big or go home
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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