You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
