Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
