Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
