Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize