Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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