I love black thongs
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
