Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
