I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
