the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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