why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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