i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
