i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
