i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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