it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
