my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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