I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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