Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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