my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
